COPYRIGHT CITY SANCTUARY THERAPY

No part of this website, including the blog content may be copied, duplicated, or reproduced in any manner without the author’s permission. Any information, materials, and opinions on this blog do not constitute therapy or professional advice. If you need professional help, please contact a qualified mental health practitioner.

In my role as a therapist, l have met many people who have friends, family members, or work colleagues who have experienced a mental health crisis, or a mental breakdown. At times this means one getting signed off work, and in extreme but not usual cases, admission into a psychiatric hospital. I have also met people who have lost loved ones who died by suicide, unexpectedly, and this was due to their poor mental health. Stories of this nature  dominate the media; there are many others that we do not hear about. For the family, friends, and colleagues of the person who has had a mental health breakdown, or died by suicide, there is often shock, despair and a lot of guilt attached to not having helped them, and  profound feelings of having let them down.

I have also worked with people who have experienced actual mental health breakdowns and crises, varying in nature, degree, and severity. Some may have had to take time off work, on their GPs orders, while others had to be admitted into psychiatric facilities due to risk to self, or for intensive treatment.  These are typically people who are very busy in their lives and make no time to rest, reset, pause, or make time for self care. The reason for this happening lies  in the delay in recognising that one’s mental health is deteriorating, and seeking help in a timely manner-early intervention.

I always remind my clients that “If you have a breakdown due to work stress, and burn out, they will hire a replacement tomorrow, and you only have yourself to fix, and you cant replace yourself either".

This is a reality which we often forget, more so now, where the world we live in is centred around success, wealth, and status- capitalism. There is no room for emotions. Nature has cunning ways of bringing us back to basics.  Work stress and burn out are key factors in poor mental health, which can lead to attempted suicides, or completed suicides.  Most people who are struggling do not say it out loud even if they recognise it; that’s why suicide rates are high.

While mental illness is an internal experience, people who are struggling with their mental health often display certain signs and behaviours externally. If we are able to tune into what’s going on with people around us, we can detect any signs of mental ill health, and intervene early. Early intervention- diagnosis and treatment (therapy/medical) - lead to better outcomes. Again, l remind my clients that the best Doctors in life are: "Dr Rest, Dr Sleep, Dr Exercise, Dr Heathy diet, and Dr Hydration/Water"

People who are experiencing mental health difficulties may not recognise it subjectively. The onset can be mild, and the deterioration very surreptitious.  It may take others around them to pick up the signs, and changes that may be indicative of poor mental health, or a deterioration on one’s mental state.  If we become more conscious of the behaviours that are likely to manifest outwardly, we can do a lot to help, and support people may be struggling with their mental health. That also means we may safeguard some people who may end up suicidal, or even dying by suicide, something of concern in present day society.

"Early intervention translates to better outcomes".

If you notice some of the signs of poor mental health  on your loved one, or colleague, do try and engage with them and/or notify other people around who may be able to intervene. Silence and ignoring that person is not an option. Rather give them flowers when they are alive, than take them to the hospital, or to their funeral.

Here are some of the signs of poor mental health:

1- Social Withdrawal & Self Isolation

Social withdrawal  & self-isolation from the world are some of the key  signs that someone may be experiencing some mental health challenges. This maybe due to lack of energy, loss of interest, not wanting to engage or simply giving up on life. The withdrawal and isolation may  be due to shame and a way of avoiding having to answer any questions that may reveal the person’s vulnerability.

2-Poor Hygiene & Poor Self Care

Poor hygiene is one of the noticeable signs of someone who may be having some mental health challenges, especially in depression. Poor self-care may be a sign of giving up on life, lack of energy, and lack of  motivation to look after oneself. A dishevelled look is always a give away.

3- Anger & Irritability

Anger and irritability (mood changes) can be related to underlying mental health challenges. It’s not unusual for people who are struggling to feel angry and irritable & at times easily snap or lash out. This often comes up in how they interact with others. Paradoxically, this is likely to negatively impact on relationships, leading to one becoming even more isolated, yet what they really need is company & support.

4-Hostile Behaviour

People who are struggling may behave in a hostile manner. This may be subconsciously a way of seeking attention, or expressing their feelings, however in an unhealthy way. Beneath that hostility is a lot of vulnerability. Hostility may be  unconsciously a way of keeping people away, yet consciously they need them the most.

5-Behaving out of Character

People who are struggling me start behaving in unusual manner. This may be behaviours that are not consistent with their usual selves. For example one may become very erratic & unusually chaotic. They may be even unaware of these behavioural changes. If they are, they may make excuses for these behaviours when asked.

6-Sleeping More or Nocturnally

People who are struggling may begin to sleep more, or have a reverse sleep pattern. This is a sign of not coping with life or lacking energy, apathy, or just social withdrawal. This may compound the poor self care and impact on productivity.

7- Poor Sleep

Most people who are struggling tend to have difficulties with sleep. If you notice that your loved one is unable to sleep, it may be a sign of them struggling with their mental health. Poor sleep leads to fatigue and feeds into the deterioration.

8-Eating More

Food plays a big part in emotional regulation, and people who are struggling tend to eat more as a way of regulating how they are feeling. This may lead to noticeable weight gain. In the long term this impacts on one’s confidence and self-esteem.

9-Eating Less

People who are struggling tend to eat less. This may be due to a loss of appetite, self-punishment and at times they have simply given up. This often leads to noticeable weight loss.

10- Mood Changes -Emotional Lability

Apart from showing signs of sadness, people who are struggling with their mental health may show some rapid mood changes where they may become tearful or emotionally hypersensitive. They can become easily triggered and can switch from being elated to tearfulness. These mood changes can happen throughout the day and at times diurnal.

11- Emotional Detachment

People who are struggling may become emotionally detached. They may seem stoic & unaffected by things. However deep down they are struggling & the stoicism/detachment is a defence. This is very common in suicidal people.

12- Overfamiliarity & Trauma Dumping

Despite sounding rather paradoxical, when struggling, some people may attempt to reach out to others in ways that are unusual to them & deemed imposing on others. However this may be their way of seeking some connection and making some form of emotional contact. If you notice someone who has suddenly started making more contact with you or talks about their difficult experiences each time you chat, do not dismiss or ignore them. Listen and tune in. Remember to signpost them to therapy is you feel burdened by them.

13- Personality Changes

People who are struggling may show signs of personality changes. For example someone who used to be gregarious and outgoing may suddenly become very distant and disinterested or highly anxious. This can happen over a period of time, not just daily. Do not be quick to judge. Check in if you can.

14- Excessive Drinking (alcohol) or Drug Misuse.

Excessive or regular alcohol consumption is one of the most common thing people who are struggling tend to do. This can be in social situations for example night out with friends or colleagues, or at home.  The drinking behaviour is a way of numbing feelings or escaping from an emotionally painful place.

15- Adopting a negative outlook to life, pessimism & dispondence.

When one is struggling with their mental health, they may give hints of their words view and how they view life. This is often in  negative & pessimistic terms, regardless of any good things that may be going on in their life. These good things may be meaningless to that person, hence why they describe their world in these negative terms. Listen and don’t judge.

16- Overspending & Compulsive Buying

People  who are struggling may find themselves compulsively shopping or overspending. This is even more problematic due to access to the Internet and online shopping. The compulsive buying is a way of trying to fill an emotional  void, and derive  happiness and pleasure  from material things.

17 - Hypersexual & Sexualised Behaviours

It is not unusual for people who are struggling with their mental health to start becoming hypersexual and having loads of casual sex. Sex is used as a soothing tool with no emotion attached  to it. This is the reason why so many people who struggle with their mental health are regular people who go on nights out  with their friends and colleagues & seem to be functioning normally. We often here about suicides or breakdown which seem unprecedented.

Image Credit to Mark Wielinga- Unsplash